When I entered into this lifestyle, it was with a great deal of anticipation, excitement, and respect for you. I love and crave your authority over me. Yet I confess that I have not served you well as a good submissive should. I want to offer this, my apology, and my explanation.
Slowly we are both coming into our respective roles of sexual dominance and submission. But as I explained in an earlier post in this blog, my submission to you is not merely a sexual act. It is a lifestyle. Sex is part of that, but I desire more complete submission than simply our bedroom activities.
I departed from your rules, slowly, at first. And you didn't resist. You didn't discipline or admonish. You didn't seem to notice, actually. As time went on, I realized the foolishness of offering submission to someone who didn't seem to want it. It seemed rather pathetic, actually, to sit at your feet or to cast my eyes down when you entered the room. You didn't seem to care about or appreciate such acts.
I decided to go back to my life before our agreement and offer you whatever level of respect and submission you required from me. I must say that it is terribly unfulfilling. My strongest desire is to place not only my sexual experiences, but my life in your hands. I want to show you, through word, thought, and deed, how I respect and honor you. I want you to feel as strongly about your authority as I do, and I want you to demand my respect and submission.
Given our recent conversations and late-night activities, I'd like to re-commit myself to our agreement.
I'm a very young submissive, and you might do best to think of me as a child, requiring training, routine, and discipline. When I do not follow your rules or give you the respect you deserve, I should be punished.
It is not my place to tell you how, or even if, you should train me. And I know I'm already walking perilously close to that line. But if it pleases you, I'd be like to offer suggestions for rules and guidelines while we both become comfortable in our roles:
-When in private, I am not to sit at the same level as you. My proper place is on the floor, at your feet.-When you leave the room, I should follow you, unless you instruct otherwise.-When walking, I should always follow a few steps behind you.-In private, I should address you as Ma'am or Mistress, never anything more familiar.-Direct eye contact is not allowed unless I'm instructed otherwise.-I should always wear a tangible token of my submission. In private, this could be a collar. In public, a dog tag or chain concealed under clothing.-As I have failed you in this area in particular, chastity should be enforced with the use of a restraining device when I am home alone, and possibly at other times as you see fit. You will hold the key.
It's my hope, Mistress, that we can resume our relationship. I live to serve you, though, and if this is not what you wish, then I will of course comply.
I love you, I adore you, and I apologize for my failure as your servant. Please continue to train me. I will naturally accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate.